“Why are you so far away?” she said “Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you, that I’m in love with you”

19 11 2009

I am possibly giving up an episode of True Blood to write this. So ya’ll better be reading.

1. I raised $111 today to fight ball cancer. If you’d like to donate, leave me a comment and I’ll get you the details. Please consider it. As a big fan of men, I’d like to keep their balls safe.

2. Work is crazier than normal. I am up to my damn eyeballs in it. I got a lot done today but the task ahead is daunting to say the least. I’m tired.

3. My trip. Wow. Ok. Where to begin…

Chi-town is amazing. AMAZING. I am so in love with her. She is a beautiful human being inside and out. We stayed up late talking over wine and True Blood. In fact, blame her for this new found addiction. That show is like crack cocaine. Do any of ya’ll watch it? Obsessed.

Chi is the kind of friend everyone needs 10 of. Lucky for me, I have many friends like her. She encourages me when I need it and she’s really good at giving me little nudges when I need those too. She never judges and she’s wise beyond her years. I am so lucky to have met her, specially when I did. I just wish, as with many of the people I love best, she lived closer. She also happens to be a champ at calming me down.

That skill came in handy on Saturday morning. We got up, grabbed Starbucks and breakfast and headed out for a little shopping before I met up with Fred. Look, I’ve tried to be sneaky about this, but fuck it. Half ya’ll know anyway. I have a giant ass crush on Fred. While I know that it would be damn near impossible for it to go anywhere, that doesn’t shut my heart up. He’s fantastic. And he had me nervous as all hell.

We talked Friday night and he kept telling me he was so excited to see me. He drove two hours to hang out with me the next day. He called when we were at H&M and I thought I was going to throw up all over the dressing room. Butterflies.

He picked me up from Chi’s and we headed into the city. We had an awesome, laid back kind of day. We hung out with a friend of his and walked down to the river and through this awesome park. Then we drove through the coolest part of town and found this nifty little bar to have dinner and drinks. I had my first Yuengling. Mmm. Good. Then we headed up a giant hill to the incline for an incredible view of the city. All day we talked about all sorts of stupid shit. Mostly music. I burned him a shit ton of it. At one point we were talking about The Clash. I told him I had seen Joe Strummer as a teenager, but didn’t appreciate it until I was in my 20s. He asked if I listened to The Hold Steady. I immediately knew what song he was thinking and told him so. His response? “It’s because we’re both dorks like that.” And we are.

“Raise a toast to saint Joe Strummer
I think he might have been our only decent teacher.”

He had to get back home to see some friends play a show, but it was a good day. Everyone keeps asking me what now. Well, what now? I don’t know. Nothing now. I’m not going to do anything I haven’t already been doing. It’s just a crush. It’s just the most perfect fucking dude I have ever met. Who lives six hours away. So no, I ain’t gonna do shit about it. I am happy the way things are.

I got a postcard from him today and it was really sweet. It was from at least a month ago, but as he said “our correspondence has been awesome.” Life is mysterious. I have finally learned to let the reins go and let whatever be…be.

Now, I think that’s enough for tonight. I am pouting because I can’t find anyone to go see Lucero with me this weekend. I’d go alone, but the venue isn’t safe. Particularly the parking. So, I am going to go drown my sorrows and feed my insomnia with more True Blood. Love love, kiss kiss.

The Watson Twins – Just Like Heaven


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