Well I’m starting this at work, but lord only knows when I’ll finish it.

I am having an AWFUL day today. The printer screwed up a color on something I had printed and it’s causing mass chaos right now. I am totally over this. I need to listen to that tarot card reader and find myself some new employment.

Oh yeah, I had my cards read. When I was in New Orleans. Two freaking weeks ago. I’m sorry. I know that I owe you. So, here goes.

The Scotsman and I left, alone, around midnight to head down there. Five Hour Energy shots should be called Useless Excuse to Consume Caffeine. I was OUT for a good 70% of that drive. I tried, I really did. Years of being shuttled back and forth to Michigan as a kid made me a car sleeper. I can’t help it. On the plus side, if I’m asleep I can’t whine about being bored or having to pee. Win!

A&J didn’t come with us due to a last minute family emergency. They were both very much missed the whole time, but there will be many more visits. I am sure of this.

We got to the city, showered and picked up Three Man from the airport sans ball weed. Don’t ask. We immediately headed to Port of Call where I was WASTED within an hour. Oh Monsoons. Lovely, lovely Monsoons. A nap followed that and then we grabbed Mexican and I think we went out. I wrote about the first two days here and here.

I can’t remember the order we did everything in anymore. My brain is all mushy and full of left over brain damage from all the drinking, work fuckery and worry. So I’ll just recap.

Ate ate a LOT of truly delicious places including Port of Call, The Joint, Pho Tau Bay, Yo Mama’s, Juan’s Flying Burrito, Adolfo’s and Elizabeth’s.

Ok, time out. All of the above? Yeah…I wrote that shit on…Thursday? Shit is all blurred together. Last week went straight to hell and I drove the bus. So here’s what’s up. New Orleans was awesome. No shit. The boyfriend loved it and I loved being there with him. I miss it and I miss that crazy girl that lives there. I had two run ins with gay boys in the city. I mentioned the one who told me I was going to meet Tina Fey and be on tv. No luck on that front yet. The other just sort of observed me all night and then demanded all my attention because I was fabulous and he wanted to get to know me and be friends. I love the gays and they love me. What can I say?

We stayed out all night one night, we took the boy down to the shit show end of Bourbon. We drank and ate and made a whole lot of fucking merry. It was idyllic. It is the life I want. It is the life I need. I love that everyone….EVERYONE…says hello. Everyone wants to have a good time and relax and enjoy life.

We’ve been watching Treme and in one of the episodes there is some quote that says something to the effect of New Orleans being a hot mess and a corrupt nightmare, but living there is better than owning all of Ohio. A-fucking-men.

Look, I love my life here in it’s own little midwestern way. I love my family and friends and my routines and my places of interest…and it’s “home”. But I never feel like myself here. I always feel awkward in my own skin. I find myself embarrassed sometimes to go out in public with my tattoos showing and my stretched ears because people look at me weird. I can feel them judging me. I go out of my way to be sweeter than honey and little miss manners. But they’re afraid of my differences. Down there? People don’t even look twice. I fit. I feel comfortable. I can breathe.

Someday NOLA and I will be together. It may not be for a few more years…lord knows I’m needed here right now, but she’ll wait for me. I know she will.