Every now and then I’ll check and see who is reading my blog. That’s right lurkers, and regulars…I know who you are, where you’re browsing from, etc. I’ll stalk you right back!
Anyway.
Sometimes I am highly amused by who is reading my blog. The Department of Defense was checking me out for awhile. Scary? Perhaps. Funny? Yes. So imagine how amused I was this morning when I saw this:
So...can I get some vodka?
Because I can’t stop singing it and I have Totoro and the Scotsman obsessed as well, I’ll share this with you. Try to not sing it. I dare you. I guarantee you I am.
Really stressful day at work today. REALLY. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave it to my beloved Poprocks to take an awkward moment and turn it into something that very nearly caused my brain to explode. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes the awesomeness of being me totally overwhelms me. Is being awkward awesome? Oh. Yes. Read the rest of this entry »
For any new readers, I’m going to give you a glimpse into my head the best way I can…with shit that makes me laugh. Also, I’m tired and nothing funny or interesting happened today. So I’m phoning it in. Enjoy.
Oh come on, ya’ll. I’m not working today. May as well entertain us both.
A few weeks ago I got a text from HC. He does this. I don’t hear from him for months and then he’s all up in my face with the “I miss you” and “we need to hang” bullshit. We met when his band played at my college, sophomore year. The first night he told me he was going to marry me someday. He’s been chasing me ever since. I was knee deep in Douche McGee at that point, so I told him he was crazy. Most of the time I ignore him, sometimes I indulge him and flirt. It’s fun. If he didn’t have the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen, I’d probably just write him off. The fact that he’s also my height ain’t working in his favor. I’m borderline midget territory, ya’ll. We are eye to eye.
The last time I saw him was at his band’s show up by where Totoro lives. I’ll tell the story of that epic weekend some other time. His band is awful. Just awful. Just hardcore shite. But, he’s an adorable little man and I amuse myself with him. I don’t really think he’s serious about wanting to actually be with me, so I’ll often ask him if he’s bought my ring yet. Today’s response was “I don’t know what size”. Ha. I am supposed to head back up to where he lives next weekend. Maybe I’ll actually grab some dinner with him or something. I mean, it’s the least I can do for the only man stupid enough to want to marry me. Right?
So I drank a very large mojito. I mean a pint glass full of mojito and smoked a lot of hookah. I apologize for any misspellings that occur. I’m slightly buzzed.
I hung out at the place my sister works tonight for awhile and people watched at the bar. The bartender happens to be one of my favorite people in the world. We’ll call him Sweet Pea, because he just is. I walk in and he sees me and I get a big smile and then…”Your hair is blonde!” I forgot it was dark the last time I was up here. Then I got a big hug and an “I’m so happy you’re here!” He’s one of those people who says things like that and means them 100%. I adore him.
I texted another mutual friend of ours, The Ninja, and asked him to come hang out. He did and we just sat and listened to this craqzy guy at the bar. It was all sorts of awesome. He came back to Totoro’s with us to smoke hookah (pink lemonade, yum!) and make fun of me for…well…being me. Totoro made me Pokemon mac and cheese and he mocked the new Pokemon and I ended up calling him a monkey turtle bird and threatening to break the other side of his jaw. He has a metal plate in the one side. He’s part robot. ROBONINJA!
Totoro and I got up early today and went to Nordstrom and I found a dress. A $300 dress. I am wearing that shit every day for a year. Seriously. What the fuck is it made out of that it needs to cost that much? We went to Nordstrom Rack after and I found cute shoes. Not for the dress or the wedding, just because I wanted them.
The rest of the day I spent trying to read Blood Meridian and napping. That book makes me tired. It’s not an easy read. BNB said it took him a week or two to read. I feel like it’s going to take me a lifetime. I like it though. I listened to Last Pale Light In The West the whole time. Then Totoro’s neighbor decided to build the entire Ikea catalog or the Taj Mahal or something.
It’s not even 1:00am and I am exhausted. I slept in and slept most of the day. There is something wrong with me, or I really am getting old. I’m going to try and read now. I give it ten minutes.
