I thought I was going to be too tired to write, and I am, but I’m going to a little anyway.

I can’t believe I forgot to share this here, but the greatest moment of my life happened on Friday. 4:30 I get called over to the JJ’s desk to argue over some project. I have to explain why we can/cannot do things over and over and over again. It gets old. I’m pretty cranky and I want to go home. So we’re arguing about it and a co-worker suggests we call and ask our vendor involved. He gives us the number and JJ dials it on speakerphone. The three of us are gathered around the phone. The opening message comes on before she has a chance to turn the volume up, so it’s not very clear. Co-worker man tells her to enter ext. 25.

There is a brief silence and then, loud and clear for the surrounding cubes to hear…”I’m sorry baby, I didn’t get that credit card number. Try again. Hurry up, I’m waiting for you!”

I can’t even stop myself, I crack up laughing. Tears, people. Tears. My face is bright red and I am DYING. It was that split second realization as to what just happened. We called a phone sex hotline. On speakerphone. Somedays it’s worth it.

I spent today with my mom for the most part. We did some shopping and checked in on my grandmother. It’s hotter than balls out and she doesn’t have the air on and hasn’t noticed. Friday she was complaining it was hot in her house. It may have had something to do with her turning the heat on versus the air. I’m starting to worry about her. I’m going to start swinging by a few nights a week to make sure she hasn’t burned the place down yet. Jaysus.

I headed over to Clark’s tonight to hang out. Of all people he’s the one I ended up spilling my guts to. I told him everything. What was bothering me, why it was bothering me. We ended up having a really good talk about it. I am usually taking care of him, and so sometimes I forget that he is really good at taking care of me. The icing on the cake, of course, was getting to see Button. She’s getting so big. She’s kind of walking, she has four teeth and all of the sudden she has all this curly hair. She’s a wild one.

BNB called when I was getting ready to leave. We chatted for a bit and I’m going to go see him Wednesday. We have some business to work out. I had a dream about my next tattoo. I won’t be getting it for a very long while, but I know what it is now.

For the past year I wanted to get a shoulder cap on my left arm with a sun setting  on the ocean and the lyrics from Chuck Ragan’s song The Boat. We all carry the tune we love. My whole left arm, well…shoulder to elbow anyway, will be lyrically inspired. I already have Sage Francis lyrics on the back of my left elbow. If a girl writes off the world it’s done in cursive. Then I had this dream. I believe in my dreams.

In my dream I got a shoulder cap that was a night sky fading from black to purple to navy and there were stars and some silhouetted trees and a shooting star and, big surprise, Lucero lyrics. Cuz falling stars are best. Wandering Star is a great song, but it’s never been one that I would have considered for tattoo material. BNB loves it. It’s a go.

It’s probably pretty obvious, but I don’t plan my blogs. I just sit down and write. Sometimes I read through it before I post, sometimes I don’t. The intention is for me to be as honest as I can be. I want to capture my first response or thoughts on things. Sometimes it may come off spastic or disorganized. But, that’s pretty true to my person. It allows me to keep that “vulnerability” that I was complimented on.

I tell you this, because it’s nearly midnight and I wanted to sleep, but the nagging in my brain started. I was thinking on the drive over to Clark’s tonight that I should write a blog about my favorite sad bastard songs. I had it half planned out, then I was too tired to write it. And here I am writing anyway. The point? This is exactly why I don’t plan. My follow through sucks. But now I have a goal for tomorrow. Lord knows nothing brings me joy than the science of putting together a playlist. Discussing my reasoning behind it just makes me swoon. So, keep me honest. Remind me.

In other news you don’t care about, but I’m going to tell you anyway…I FINALLY finished Blood Meridian at 2:00am. It was an incredibly fucked up, bloody and violent book. I’m glad I read it. I’m proud of myself for trudging through it. Now, I am done. Your album makes sense, Ben. You took something ugly and made it something beautiful. I can also now ask you why you wrote songs for who you wrote them for and not for some of the others.

Speaking of songs, Bad Religion – Man With A Mission just came up in iTunes. This is officially my new theme song. It’s a sign. I’m off.