I should never have promised a recap today.

I am kind of a mess today. The Scotsman and I sort of had it out last night. We’ve bickered before, but this was a real argument. He made me MADDER THAN FISH GREASE! (10 points if you know the origin of that gem) I apparently pissed him off real good too. You know what? It happens. Things like this are what real people do. We were both wrong. The end. But it’s still hard. I tried to talk to him and explain WHY. WHY I was mad, WHY I did what I did, WHY. It’s like we both speak Greek or something. He was not getting anything I was saying and eventually I wore myself out and just let it go. Like I let everything go. It’s just not worth it. If he wants to be a stubborn asshole, then fine. I’m clearly not going to get through to him so I give up. I love him and that includes the parts that make me want to punch him right in the face. I just wish he listened to what I was saying sometimes.

Anyway, yeah…I’m fucking exhausted still and I miss Nola and NOLA and I have a ton of freelance tonight, his mom had another surgery today, I am still broke and I still hate my job. It’s a mean reds kind of day up in here.

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds. You mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat, and maybe it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

It’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep and Tom Petty and DBT tomorrow night. But…unless I perk up tonight, you’re not hearing my NOLA stories. There are many to share, but I’m just too red to go there right now. Sorry ya’ll. Love you.